It took me years to speak openly about my body to anyone.
It is a journey of discovery that cannot be rushed or imposed by others. The beginning of the journey started for me when I was thirty.
Seed
The seed was planted in me, laying dormant for the first 18 years of living with a menstrual cycle. 18 years!!! It had not been acknowledged with grace, why would I. In the end, I dissociated myself from my menstrual cycle; it was a way to protect myself from the shame; laying it dormant for a while.
Germination
All the circumstance were aligned: me being lost at sea in the early stages of motherhood + discovery of Women circles + the meeting with women who did not carry shame about their bodies anymore (they had been on their own journeys too).
Growth
Painful. As I awakened to the potential of a relationship with my menstrual cycle, shame also resurfaced. It hurts walking through life with such heavy weight, it really does. Going back to old coping mechanism felt like the only solution, all I wanted was to dissociate; however, my growth was watered and sustained by my strong sense of curiosity; the perfect antidote to menstrual taboo.
Flowering
From then on, it was of a journey of discovery, integration and sharing.
The sharing starting at home, with my family, of what it is like living with a menstrual cycle, always in movement, travelling from ovulation to menstruation, over and over again.
I would not live without my menstrual cycle, it is my compass. It allows me to take responsibility for my body and leaving behind the sense of victimisation I held in myself. With it, came self-care without shame and non-negotiable.
Casting seeds
Ten years on, it is time for me now to scatter seeds around for others: women who feel ready to engage with their menstrual cycle, girls on the cusps on meeting their menstrual cycle and men who want to be allies to their partners and daughters.
I am now able to share my story, talk about my body without shame or fear to everyone. And that it is the gift to the world.
~ Victoria ~
Facilitator of Celebration For Girls and Fathers Celebrating Daughters
victoria@natureandme.co.uk
Comentários